Christmas isn’t pretty

Christmas isn’t always pretty.

Now, before I am chastised for saying “Christmas isn’t pretty” – let me be clear here. I am not speaking of the pretty bows, sparkling lights adorning a freshly cut tree or glistening of freshly iced cookies on a kitchen table. 

I’m talking about the very real aspect of the holiday season within the messiness of it.

The shattered ornament that falls from the tree moments before holiday guests come over. It’s swept up into the dustpan in a scurry just like our emotions when we wish to push them aside because that’s easier.

The unrest we feel heavily burdened with while joy is supposed to be the “reason for the season” but all we can muster up on the outside is a half-smile and heavy sad eyes. Which is barely enough to hide our mid-winter stress and struggles.

Or what about the resentment we feel built up against our partner or spouses because our love tanks are running on fumes for whatever the reason. And it shows. It shows its disdained self every time we really truly try to have a good moment with them but we just can’t hide our hurt emotions for too long before they seep into what was “supposed to be a good weekend, moment or day.”

For the longest time I was the person that wanted the picture-perfect holiday home with tightly crisp wrapped packages under a beautifully decorated classic Christmas tree.

I can look back and see overtime how the Lord has dealt with me to let go of my painted vision and just live within the mess of very real life.

To paint my personal picture fully there was a lot going on this holiday season which only the close people near me knew the fully magnitude of what felt like an anxious melancholy heart.

I couldn’t find the blue foil wrapping paper I wanted.

My love tank was feeling empty.

More than one thing with my vehicle and home were needing repairs. Meaning that – I was anxious about them working or not which led me down unhealthy paths of anxiousness. I felt frustrated with the Lord thinking, “Really?! This too!! Christmas is in a week; how will I pull this off with a single income?!”

A few people close to me were waiting on a confirmation in regards to cancer.

To mix in – I was supposing to feel happy and excited because my book was officially released in the early part of December. Don’t get me wrong, I was excited but I didn’t feel like I could enjoy the season of it coming out or the Christmas season at all.

It was somewhere in the midst of one of the Christmas worship services that the Holy Spirit whispered to me, “Christmas isn’t pretty.”

Taken back, I thought, “Yes, it is. Look at these decorations, lights and happy people all around me. They’re all very delighted, in good moods and seemingly enjoying it all.”

But that wasn’t the message. Christmas isn’t pretty.

It wasn’t “pretty” that Jesus was born in a filthy barn.

It wasn’t “a joyful time” since there was a ruler after him to take his life with his earthly parents fleeing to safety.

There weren’t Christmas trees with pretty paper packages under a beautifully lit tree all those years ago.

Christmas actually wasn’t pretty.

But it was real.

It was joyful because a Savior did leave the peace of heaven to become our peace on earth.

It is nearly two weeks after Christmas and no, not everything was buttoned up before that day or even the end of the year. However, the season of a new perspective certainly has arrived.

Living in the messy realness of life and allowing yourself to have peace with that aspect is where we need to land. If I can offer you one thing as we embark upon this new year it’s that it is ok for things not to be ok. The façade of everything working out perfectly, doesn’t exist. Otherwise, why would we need a Savior to lean into daily for His help?

If you’re not already in the word or pray on a regular basis I encourage you to take the time to recharge your soul and take the time to do so. Even if it’s for a short time, start. This is not a promise that things will magically work out if you do. We live in a very broken world; this is just not so. However, having a relationship with the Lord definitely makes this life more bearable.

Isaiah 54:10: "For the mountains may depart and the hills be removed, but my steadfast love shall not depart from you, and my covenant of peace shall not be removed".

The Lord loves you. Don’t forget that this year.